807 Things I am not Allowed to do at Hogwarts
by Rivverr Fourrest
Summary: Have you ever wondered why that list was created? Well here's Volterra, Teddy, and a bunch of other characters to tell you why...
1. Spoons

**A/n: I own only some of these characters (like Miss Volterra), but sadly do not own Teddy or James are Labus or any other characters. Also, some of this story will take place after the second wizarding war and before the wizarding war.**

_1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are "covered in bees"._

Teddy was sitting across from me, underneath a gigantic tree that provided a lot of shade. He had a knack for reading books, so usually when I caught up with him in his free time he would spend half of his time talking to me. The other half he would spend with his nose in a book. I am a very antsy person, I can't sit still the entire time that Teddy's reading. It's impossible. So I, being me, usually bring something weird to do.

Today? I brought a plastic spoon, several of them actually. And I'm decorating it like me. I gave it a little red shirt thing, some pants, and glued some strings of yarn to it to make it look like it had black hair. As I was patting the pockets of my jeans to look for the green sharpie I had brought along, Teddy had looked up from his book.

"Why are you holding a spoon?" Then he looked at the other spoons lying around me and raised his eyebrows. "Why do you have tons of spoons that are decorated like our friends?"

I looked up at him through my bangs. "You were reading, I had to do something creative." He rolled his eyes at me and opened his book again. I started at him for a few moments, then eyed the spoons. I picked the one decorated like Teddy, blue hair and all, and threw it at him.

"Eh!" He looked up as the spoon hit him in the nose. "Volterra, there was no reason to throw a spoon at me!" I picked up another spoon that looked like James and threw it at him again.

"Then talk to me you wanker!"

Teddy set his book down with a sigh and looked at me. "This conversation better be the best one I have ever had."...

_Nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are "covered in bees"._

"Oh my god Teddy you have bees all over you!"

He glanced at me from his seat at the table. "I do not have bees on me! Why do you insist on saying that to me every morning?"

I looked at the people surrounding him, "Well, your house colors aren't heping you any, plus you make fun of what I'm wearing all the time." He cracked a grin and studied my outfit.

"I seriously hope you don't blind someone." He kept smiling as I grabbed the Daily Profit out of someone's hand and smacked him with it.

I smiled sweetly at him, "I got it."

**A/n: And wala! Please Review! I would really like feedback!**


	2. Australian Accent

_**A/n: Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter. But oh, how I wish I did.**_

_2. No matter how good an Australian accent I can do, I will not mock Australian people during Care of Magical Creatures class. _

**Third Person POV**

"Oi mate! Stop tryin' to put that skrewt on the barbie!"

"The skrewts trying to put _me_ on the barbie. And Volterra this isn't necessary, McGonagall is coming this way-"Teddy put his head up to look at Volterra, is blue hair falling in his eyes. He eyed the stern professor, who was making her way down the path to the group of teens. Volterra obviously wasn't paying attention, but was trying to handle the squirt without getting burned.

"Shut your trap mate. I'm tryin' to work ova here!"

"Mrs. Riddle." Professor McGonagall walked toward the two who were crouching on the ground. Her lips were pressed into a tight line as she gave Volterra a very disproving look. Everyone in the class turned to look at them. Teddy said something under his breathe and put his hand up to his mouth, sparks were shooting out of the Blast-ended Skrewt. "Hagrid called me down here. Something about you talking in a ridiculous Australian accent-"

"Extremely bad ridiculous Australian accent." Teddy piped up.

"You're disrupting the class!" She scanned the throng of people along the ground. "Just carry on and stop doing that accent."

**A/n: And the craziness ensues. Volterra and Teddy seem to be like an awesome pair right? I'm hoping to bring Victoire in here soon though, even though for some reason I don't like her that much. **


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